Yet another Monday has rolled around

Wow. A week has passed. Last week was a strange week for me. I was down, teary-eyed, just flat-out depressed I guess you could say. Yesterday it rained. When I say rained, I mean the pouring-pee-out-of-a-boot kind of raining. That seemed to just accentuate my feelings and I slept all afternoon. There's nothing like sleep when things are blue.

But when I woke up, I went shopping with my daughter and then to my mother's house for our weekly sit-and-watch-TV-together-as-a-family night. I curled up in the recliner and watched the finale of The Next Food Network Star. I wanted Jeffrey to win, but that woman (I can't even remember her name! Oh yeah, Melissa!) won and she'll be just fine.

After I got home a good friend called and I was able to vent some frustrations. Thank God for my friends. One had called me right before I left for mother's house and then one after. I'm blessed in that regard. Don't know what I'd do without them.

Today I was supposed to go to Huntsville to a luncheon. I'm totally blowing it off because I just don't think I can force myself to be all sunshiney and peppy when I'm totally not. They'll never miss me.

I grabbed a book as it came back in this morning and I'm going to try to concentrate and read it. It's The Devil's Punchbowl by Greg Iles. I usually love his books and two of the girls here say it's a good one. I remember reading one of his books that was set in New Orleans right before we made a trip there. It was cool to hit the eating spots and places that he so vividly described.

My eyes bother me more than they used to and I just don't read that much anymore. Not to mention that I fall asleep! Oh lord, my kids would say it's because I'm old! I'm NOT old. If I say that enough it'll be true! LOL

Let's hope that this week I can shake off this funkiness and be in a better frame of mind. A Bible verse came to mind this morning when I found out about the serious illness of a friend. It's amazing how the Holy Spirit puts the exact words in your heart that you need right when you need them.

Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you.
I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.
Yet a little while, and the world seeth me no more; but ye see me: because I live, ye shall live also. John 14:17-19

Thy words have I hid in my heart...thank you, Lord.

Monday=Melancholy

For me it does, anyway. Very uneventful weekend. I spent most of it at home watching TV or napping.

Don't know why I'm in this funk. Could be Jimmy's surgery coming up. Most likely is, with the accompanying stress about it, including, but not limited to, stress about his health, stress over sick leave (don't have enough- you try to stretch one person's sick leave over six people {me, Jimmy, our three kids and Mother}- it's hard to do!), stress over finances, stress because I'm tired, stress because I want to stay here at home with him after the surgery and stress because I can't (refer to the sick leave statement). I keep thinking that someday, just someday, there'll be a reprieve from a stressful life. Don't guess that it's going to happen. Therefore, I'm in a funk. Melancholy. Whatever you want to call it.

Plans sure can change. Instead of getting ready to go out tonight to see Jimmy Wayne I am instead sitting in the Huntsville Hospital with my husband, who is sick as a dog. This is like bad deja vous. We have done this so many times in our marriage. I used to keep count of how many times one of our immediate family (Jimmy, me or one of the kids) has been in the hospital, but I gave up.

We've had our share, that's for sure. I don't mean to bitch about it, but it gets freaking old. I know people who have been married as long as us and nobody has ever been sick, much less in the hospital.

Here are just a few admissions:

Mystery pain about 4 times
Ruptured appendix (the reason for the mystery pain)
endometrial ablation
hysterectomy
infant sleep apnea (twice)
knee surgery
gall bladder surgery
kidney removal
blood clot

Oh, and I could go on. And on. And this isn't counting stuff like ER visits, nephritis, outpatient surgeries, etc.

I'm just depressed. I keep waiting for the time when nothing is going to be wrong. We've always joked about the "Rowell curse" we have, but it's not too freaking funny anymore.

I really, really need to vent today. People who think I'm crazy for traveling and who say things like, "I don't see how Jimmy puts up with it" can kiss my ass. They have no clue what is going on in my family or the relationship my husband and I have. What is so wrong about trying to squeeze a little pleasure out of life in between the crises? He has his music, I have my traveling. It makes us happy to do these things and takes our minds off the stresses of day to day life. And it's none of anybody's damn business.

Now. I would say I feel better, but I don't. I'll get past it. When my Jimmy is better. I'm really worried about him.

I'm in a slump

Last night I was so tired that I went to bed early to read. Well, I was just miserable, so I decided a hot shower would do the trick. Wrong. I was just clean and miserable. This morning I woke up feeling not-so-lovely, but I drug around and got ready for work. Even with taking my shower last night, I was still out the door later than usual.


The city gave a retirement brunch for one of our department heads this morning. It was nice and the guy will be missed. Of course I ate a plate of stuff. I don't feel that bad. I have to be dying not to eat, unfortunately.

Lunchtime consisted of driving home, letting the bird out of the cage, and flopping on the couch to watch One Life To Live. I actually fell asleep, but woke up in time to get back to work.

So I'm slumping toward quittin' time and it cannot get here fast enough. Only 20 minutes left, thank the Good Lord.

Maybe tomorrow will be better.

I need a piece of quiet

That's what Seth used to say when he was small...he'd say, "Mama, do you need a piece of quiet?" I guess he had heard me say I wish I had some peace and quiet quite often!

Jimmy and I went out riding around Sunday afternoon like we do sometimes. We take back roads and pass lots of nice wooded areas and pastureland. We live on a very busy road and even if it's late at night or early in the morning, I can hear traffic. I sit on my patio and I can hear the little birds chirping among the noisiness of the cars. I told Jimmy Sunday that I just crave to be out in the middle of a field somewhere in the complete and utter quiet. My house is never quiet. Jimmy thrives on noise. He says he likes the tv on even when he's studying his Sunday School lesson. That just blows my mind.

Thankfully my job is a relatively calm one. But libraries aren't as quiet as you might believe! The hustle and bustle gets into full swing at times and there are babies crying, kids screaming and people yapping at one another full force. Cell phones ring even though we have a sign up for people to silence them.

Am I the only one who craves peace? It's like my soul needs it. If I can start the day out quietly, the entire day goes so much better for me! This morning I sat on the patio (my sanctuary, pictured above) and enjoyed the stillness and the coolness and the company of my animals. So far I feel very tranquil. :)

Tuesday Morning and All's Well

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All's Well, Thank God. Monday was a bitch. I don't know if I have some sort of psychological problem or what, but Mondays absolutely kill me. Yesterday was no exception. The day started off with me in a terrible mood at work. Then Jimmy's espresso machine came in and it doesn't work. Talk about a dejected man! We are going to send it back to be repaired. I really felt sorry for him.

I went to buy my mascara that was on sale at CVS, thinking I had a dollar coupon. Duh, I had a coupon all right, but it was for another brand of mascara. Got home and ate some wonderful leftovers, but my boys acted like I was offering them hog slop so they went out to Burger King, the nastiest fast food establishment in exisitence. At around 8:30 it dawned on me that it was the day to make Amish bread. I had gotten some starter and the first go around I had thrown it away. This was my second batch and I just couldn't do that again, so I sent Jimmy to the store for pudding mix and I baked bread. It came out of the oven at 10:00.

Hopefully today will be a good one. It is so far. And I just realized that I put up my Mother's Day blog without putting up a picture of my mother. Nice, huh? I'll put one up on today's post. I need to take her a loaf of that Amish Friendship bread that I made last night. I guess I can get the boys to drop it off to her today sometime.

This blog is totally boring. Sorry, folks.

Layke just called. He's having friends over tonight for chicken wings. Big bonus for me...he's cleaning up the house today! Whoo Hoo! LOL~

All right, I've held you poor readers hostage long enough without providing one entertaining tidbit. I'll do better tomorrow. I hope. ;)

Tomorrow is my Birthday

Oh yes it is. And I'm not too hyped up about it. God, I hate getting older. I should still be 18. It's just not fair!! Nothing I can do about it so I might as well make lemonade, huh?

My mother has been on me to choose a piece of jewelry for my gift. She wants me to have something to keep. Well, after looking at stuff online together, I could see that we have opposite taste in jewelry! So this afternoon she and I went shopping. Mother wanted me to have a cross necklace and I found one I LOVED! It is marcasite with mother of pearl inlay. Gorgeous! I chose a long chain for it and I am already wearing it. Ha- there is no way I was going to wait until tomorrow!

One thing that has driven me batty this week is that Jimmy and Mother and the rest of my family have looked and me and asked what we are doing for my birthday. Why are they asking me? Aren't they supposed to plan something FOR me? I finally just told them where I wanted to go out for dinner. Jeez.

Oh, speaking of eating, if you live in Albertville make sure and go to the Mexican ice cream shop across the street from Whitten's!! Let me tell you, that is some awesome stuff! They had been open last summer, then they closed and I was sad. Then the other day I saw the sign again! Yay! So this afternoon we went by there and I had not one but two scoops of ice cream...coconut and pine nut. It is the best stuff I've ever tasted!

I feel all disjointed writing this blog. Nothing is falling together smoothly. Can't be "on" all the time I don't guess. All this week I've been rather BLAH. I need another B12 shot even though I had one last week. I cannot think and all I want to do is sleep.

I think I'll try and do better tomorrow. Adios. (Must be the Mexican ice cream talking...LOL)

Insert Angry Face Emoticon Here

Man. I went to Nashville (I'll blog about it on my Bo on the Brain blog) and I came home today happy as a clam. Tonight I started getting things ready for bed and do you think I can find my phone charger??? NO!!

What makes me even madder about it is that back when I went to the end of February Bo shows I got home and put my other phone charger and my mp3 charger on my bed. They freaking disappeared! And now THIS one is gone. I distinctly remember getting it this morning, wrapping the cord around it and putting it...in something. My purse, my camera bag or my suitcase seem to be the only possibilities. But I have searched high and low for those chargers and they just are not to be found. And I'm pissed off royally. My phone will die tomorrow, I just know it. I NEED MY CHARGER.

I looked under my bed and through my computer desk and through the dirty clothes and in all my tote bags (no small task) and underneath the dresser and chest of drawers. Nothing. I found Christmas socks, some Oil of Olay face moisturizer and several coat hangers. And of course in that computer desk I found lots of "mystery" cords. I have no clue whatsoever as to what they connect. They are going in the garbage.

This is a hissy fit on paper if you don't recognize it. I would stomp my foot if it would help. Maybe when I come back tomorrow I'll be in a better humor. And have my phone charger.

Tuesday's Gone With the Wind

I love that song. Tuesday IS gone...it's almost time to go to bed, then in the morning I head off to Nashville with my friend Debbie! We always have the best time together and we're going to see lots of our friends that we haven't seen in a while. Can't wait!

Last night I went to the Town Hall Meeting here in town. Well, I could have told you exactly what would be discussed before I went. Hwy 431, rental property, mobile food units, retail business and ordinances. There was a good crowd of both whites and Hispanics there. But I really don't think anything much was accomplished, sad to say.

This morning I woke up at 3 a.m. with a headache. At 4 I finally got up and took something, then just as I went to sleep my alarm started ringing. Today was NOT a perky day. Work was work. I had gotten wind that we're going to have an internet policy enforced so I encouraged everyone to get a web email address if they didn't have one at home and to start cleaning off all personal pictures and documents if they had any on the computers. I don't really know what to expect except I heard that we would be randomly checked just like we're randomly tested for drugs. I personally think it's stupid, but I guess they are afraid that somebody is going to go to an inappropriate website or something like that. We rely heavily on the internet at work. I do all of my book and supply ordering online and I can find answers to questions instantaneously for patrons. Of course we'll be permitted to do that, but what if they see where we've looked up "venerial disease" and think we're researching privately for ourselves?? Where does the monitoring end and how do you police it? I guess I'll find out before too long.

Speaking of computers, I'm super pissed at mine right now. For some reason it will not complete the process of burning a CD. It burned three songs and then quit. Said I had a damaged disk. No way. It's brand new and I'm FURIOUS at the stupid thing!!! It does this all the freaking time.

Crap. I'm just going to watch Without a Trace and forget it for now. Toodles.